Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

29
Nov
16

Goodbye Readers, Hello mind

I’ve been avoiding this blog because I wanted to be in a different place the next time I wrote. I wanted a new story, a new perspective, I wanted to be new. I am, new that is. everyday is new, every experience I’ve had since my last post has been new. I’m avoiding myself really, but now I find myself alone and having no outlet so here I am. I feel like its rude to say I’m alone and have no outlet, I have so many wonderful people in my life that love and care about me. I just don’t let them in, I feel like my problems are trivial and things I could sort on my own, honestly. I know everyone has their own lives and things to deal with, I’d rather be a place a comfort and relief for them, I’d rather provide them with an outlet. Eventually I break, I’m human and I vent and it either helps or makes me wish I never said a thing, but its out nonetheless.

Sometimes I edit when I write, well every time actually; but here on this site I write as if I’m talking to the readers, which isn’t what I need right now. I need a safe spot, a place I can just write and not think or edit or care, a pace I can just express.

Goodbye readers, hello mind.

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23
Dec
15

Again/self motivated

Why is it so easy to motivate and stay positive for others but not yourself?

I was having a conversation with a cowoker the other day and he was telling me he was an artist and writes his own music and other stuff; I was encouraging him to share his work, come to an open mic and put himself out there. We ended up having a really indepth conversation about life and reality versus our dreams, he told me at the end of the conversation that I really inspired him to put himself out there. I felt so good after that conversation that I went home and began to throw myself into my own work. Now I sit here and I contemplate why it took me motivating someone else to be motivated myself. I mean why can’t I give myself the same peptalk when I’m having writers block or a lack of self discipline.

I suppose that’s the way our brain, well my brain works.. It’s not until I’m scrolling through tumblr and looking at hot girls that I remember I have a gym membership. It’s not until I read something someone else has written that I am inspired, or its not until I help someone see their potential that I remind myself of mine. Are you self sufficient, self motivated? My first thought is yes of course, but then again am I really; are you really? It’s not bad, it doesn’t have to be at least, there are plenty of things in life to motivate and inspire you when you don’t have the energy to do it yourself. My concern would be becoming dependent on it… I want an equal balance, I want to be inspired and I want to inspire myself.

 

 

 

22
Dec
15

Postsecret

 

22
Dec
15

Zoey ♡ Luna

I have a confession, two actually….

14
Dec
15

Again/sensitive much?

… is anyone else here extremely sensitive? To the point that you’re almost embarrassed to admit it? I went to my girlfriends work party this evening and she had mentioned a few nights ago that she found one of her coworkers attractive and of course thats who we end up sitting by by. I’m not sure if I was already paranoid or if she was actually making me feel neglected.. and its not even so much neglected; just that when I was talking to her she would interrupt what I was saying and make a commment to this other person. It only happen twice and again it could just be my paranoia or the fact that I’m sensitive.. or maybe selfish, I’m not quite sure. With the recent events I just feel like I’m always on edge with her. I don’t know, I’m sure it was just me, its usually just me. Its not like I think anythings going on, I just dont like feeling neglected or second.. anyone know what I mean?

11
Dec
15

Again/Laughlin

2015-12-07 00.15.43IMG_10831

Girls trip 2015, Laughlin Nevada

11
Dec
15

Again/Acts of kindness

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So this morning I’m at the gas station, already having a shitty day and its not even 9 o clock yet, I decide to treat myself to a cup of coffee, universe knows I shouldn’t because every dollar counts right now but I do anyway. There’s this gentleman standing in front of me and he keeps looking back and surveying the store, very suspicious. He pays leaves and I walk up to the counter and the clerk tells me he paid for my coffee already. I could have cried right then and there, I know its only a $1.50 but times like this that goes a long way, and that one act changed my perspective for the rest of the day.

Pay it Forward.