Again/Don’t take it Personal

I’ve tried writing a few times in the past week and I just couldn’t get anything out in my own voice; if that makes sense.

Last night a group of friends and I were sitting around drinking and enjoying one anothers company. One of my friends then asks: If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Now this is no new question, I’ve probably answered it a dozen of times but last night I found it particularly difficult to answer. There’s tens of things I could probably change, the obvious (bigger butt, more patience, deeper intelligence,  blah blah), but I wanted something that would make a bigger impact in my life. I decided I wanted more control over my reactions to other people’s actions. I often find that I take things to personal, not saying that I’m sensitive,  but I literally take things to heart and it causes unnecessary pain at my own administration.

I’ll give you an example: last night one of friends was really upset, and I shouldn’t say just one of my friends, it was one that I consider myself to be really close too. So seeing their pain I felt a certain obligation to comfort them. I tried, genuinely. And while I’m sure they appreciated it, it wasn’t until another friend had come along and made them feel better did I realize my effort had no affect compared to this other persons.  I was hurt, I took it personal, felt like it was me, I wasn’t good enough. When in reality, my friend was hurt, my concern was them feeling better, no matter what brought that comfort. That’s where my focus should have been. I take things to personal.

I read a book not to long ago called, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz . It’s 4 basic principles that are aimed at living a life of personal freedom. One of the agreements is not to take things personal.

-Nothing anyone says or does is BECAUSE of you.

-Everyone’s actions are a projection of their OWN reality.

-When you are immune to the words or actions of others you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.



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