22
Oct
14

Again/10 months

Just 29 days left in this program. 29 days and I graduate and head back home. 29 days and it’ll have been 10 months. Boy does time fly. I mean,  a month and I’m home and a month from then and I’ll be counting the seconds until it’s a whole new year.

They don’t kid, after 21 time waits for no one.

I’m nervous about going back home. Because instead of utilizing the experience I’ve gained over the past 10 months, I’m going home to my family because they need me. Back to the same room, to the same house, to the same city where it all started. Given things will be different, I will be different, but the place will still be the same place.

I’m afraid I’ll lose all the progress I’ve made over the past 10 months. So much has happen this year. I’ve grown infinite amounts and learned so much about myself and life and what I want from it. Yet I still have so much more left to learn and experience.

I need to keep moving forward even if it feels like I’m going backwards.

It’s going to be hard, I already feel the coolness of the black cloud waiting to surround me. I’m going to have to fight. I’ll need to do it alone. I almost wish I could fade into the background once I’m home, but something tells me that won’t be possible. Nonetheless, I’m going back to the same place but things have to be different.

I’ll find a way to utilize everything I’ve learned in the past 10 months, even if it’s not in the way I thought I would.

I’ll keep moving forward even when it feels like I’m going backwards.

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