17
Sep
09

Hello/Confession

Confession: I’m afraid to fall in love.

Reason: You would think because I dont want to get hurt, but thats actually not it.

I cant exactly tell you why I’m afraid, but I’ll try. For starters I’m 18 and knowing myself I have so much ahead of me, I dont want to set myself up to get hurt or worse, hurt someone else. I’m a very different case, just when you think you’ve figured me out, you realized you havent. Believe me, because thats how it is for me, I still have yet to figure myself out.

To be honest I’m afraid to let go, to trust someone that much to actually fall in love, real love, not what half the teenage population claims they have had.

And better than that, I havent met anyone with the potential to fall in love with. <– give or take a few cases.

I tend to push away those I love most, I dont do it intentionally, but I dont fix it either. I dont like disappointing people, its one of my weaknesses. I figure, the less people I have that really care about me, the less I have to worry about hurting. unfortunately I have this charm to where people cant help but love and care about me 😉

I want it though, oh god do I ever. But when I have it, it has to be real, and its gotta be worth the fight, that person has to be one hell of a person. My standards are high, with my occasional blind spots, the people I’m interested in are usually top notch <– and with saying that I do have my spur of the moment breath takers, who make no sence what so ever, but hey I’m human 😉

The day I fall in love <– were all waiting for that.

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