31
Aug
09

Hello/Optimistic

Optimistic: One who usually expects a favorable outcome. <– Easier said then done let me tell you.

How can I sit here and pretend to be optimistic, and I have no idea what I’m doing, or how I’m going to get through this, and I ask for help and people are just as clueless as I am! Tell me, how can I be.

People tell me, “its okay you’ll get through this”, “its fine its fine”

How can they believe in me, when I didn’t get through this the first time, whats the difference now?

I sit here and my imagination runs wild as I think of all the possible outcomes, what if I don’t finish, or worse, what if I do and I fail?

I put it in the lords hands, but that still means i need to put in 50% and I dont even know if I can do that.

“Let go and let God” <– Meaning let go and let god handle it.

Once again easier said then done (pray for me).

Poem

I nervously bite my nails                                                                                  

I try to breath, take inhales,                                                                              

My minds racing a mile a minet                                                                    

What if I really don’t finish?                                                                              

How could this be happening again                                                                

Mine as well give up now I’m never gonna win                                    

Optimistic optimistic optimistic, I gotta be                                                         

I know, I gotta believe in me                                                                                

Easier said then done                                                                                            

But some how, some way at the end                                                                  

I’ve gotta be able to say I’ve won!

I CAN DO THIS! <– I wish that sounded convincing in my head :[

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